Grandma Millie’s Stuffing: Childhood on a Fork (and the year we almost lost it.)

My sister and I didn’t grow up rife with traditions. On Halloween, we wore old shirts to represent that we were hobos or beatniks, depending on our mood.  When we hung our socks on Christmas Eve, seeing them flat and unfilled the next morning reminded us that Santa didn’t stop for little Jewish girls—but there … Read more

Terrified to Write THAT Book? Why You Should!

I played with the first line, “Everyone hates a fat woman,” for a decade (and published four other novels) before writing Waisted. The scale-obsessed women screamed in my head, but I kept the words locked away. Because writing it meant facing myself. Writ honest, the novel would have to include tales of self-loathing, food needs so intense … Read more

Obsessive Themes

Unless it’s in service to a story, I avoid deep thought. But avoidance only stretches so far; when it became time to write a think piece on why I wrote that particular book (hiding inside a marriage, traumatic brain injuries, coma, emotional abuse, rageful words—stop me!), the murky connective tissues of linking why I write any novel, in particular, confronted … Read more

Working with Batterers: What Does That Mean?

For ten years, I co-led groups for violent men.* I sat in a circle with a (usually) male co-leader and anywhere from 8 to 18 men who’d been violent with their wives, girlfriends, dates, sisters, or another woman in their lives—sometimes a mother. Their violence ran from emotional abuse to the most devastating physical viciousness—from … Read more

Woman Vs. Man: Getting Ready for an Event

  Woman (me, for instance) weeks (months?) getting ready for a book launch (or any event): Buy a new dress.Return dress.Decide to wear an edgy jagged-hem blouse.Realize anyone using the word ‘blouse’ is too old for edgy. Buy pants.Wonder what the ‘young’ word for pants is.Google.End up teary seeing choices of pants ‘types’ and future as, with … Read more